raincoats

hiimissyou, i said.

not on impulse, but after the appropriate amount of time had passed.
so as to assert my independence
and then, to withdraw my sentiment and keep my mystique
i asked an unrelated question, about competition
a physical matter rather than an emotional one
to detract from my own weakness
and after all this calculation i recieved your reply,
cut and dry, polite
sorry, you were in a meeting
no, to answer my question
and you're about to go to another one
glad i said hi tho
carry on was the best i could muster
i feigned brave like nothing was urgent
whatever we would have talked about,
it can wait.
the very phrase i told myself so many times
in regards to words i meant to say to you
so i graciously accept the rain check
but you left me here without a raincoat
i need a raincoat
i need a phone call
i need a big love
i really need a rain coat

listening to: raining in baltimore. counting crows.